everything in my life, has prepared me for & lead me to the very place that i am…& the journey that i’m about to embark on, i’m ready for.
recently, i’ve been keeping a journal. it’s basically this entire process of writing the new record. the changes that i have been going through. most of the new lyrics are in it-raw form…. and i have the idea of somehow publishing it, and sending it out with copies of the record at some point… doodles and all. it’s something, that i would LOVE to do.
would you guys be into something like that ?
this is an entry from my old online journal… a friend asked for it, so i hunted it down and thought it would be fun to share with everyone on here as well.
***FROM MY JOURNAL (sometime early last year.) ***
” **Journal** just back from Mexico. i haven’t really been able to stop writing lately. so, i thought that i would type up a quick entry and share some of what’s been transferring from my mind, to my pen, into my journal lately… ‘ as she sits next to me, i look away… and for that moment, even in her presence, my heart sinks. i find myself missing her. my head turns again. this time in her direction, and our eyes meet. they widen, and all sight is gone. i find myself numb, sitting content, and staring in her direction. my heart fills up once again… and it continues to overflow each and every second that i spend looking in her direction. ‘ “
so I said,
“lets forget these days and just try to build some solid ground.
maybe someday we could stand straight up with our faces in the wind
and scream to the world.”
we were at some boating dock oh somewhere
at the waterfront staring out across the channel-
a steamer blared its horn
and I wished I could say everything right like do you want to go for a ride?
I looked to your face and saw the sun reflecting off your skin
and I breathed in water smells-
the skyline filled with shipping yards and factories had me dreaming
of waking up-
am I dreaming? is this really me?
because I’ve never felt so not lonely
and if this could be real right now
then everyday for the rest of my life I will search for moments full of you
but let’s hope tomorrow won’t cave in ‘cause I’m looking
for someone to change me
you’re the only one stopping yourself from living out your dreams. believe in yourself & believe that you deserve it.
i’ll never understand how someone can rationalize choosing comfort of knowing-over the possibility of true happiness. youdeservetobesad. </3